Thursday, August 03, 2006

A morning in the life of Chang

"This whole thing sucks" he said morosely and softly, not realizing that all his managers were listening intently to him and the microphone was attached to 5 300W speakers. 'Why does this always happen to me?' he exclaimed exasperatedly throwing his hands in the air and shaking his heads like only Chang can.

As he neared his desk, he spied the hairy Indian guy approaching. Chang had only two alternatives; either make a break for it or wait for the inevitable bear hug from the hairy Indian with the stale coffee breath smell and hands you were never sure of what they would do next or where they had been before. Resignedly, he awaited the loving hug and after extricating himself deftly, decided to do some productive work.

A few seconds later, his ex-boss walked in and was about to say something when Chang fixed him with a cold stare and stated in a cold and sinister voice "Gary, before you say anything, I'd like to ask YOU tell me How Come'. Lost for words, his ex-boss meekly exited his cube. With a sense of accomplishment, Chang turned once more towards the revered Changorama when the phone rang. This time it was a call from home. After a few 'Nghas' Chang again escaped and hung up the phone. Now, more determined than ever he faced his screen but had promptly forgotten what his code did.

By now, coffee time had appeared and lacking his soul mate who had wandered off to India, Chang strolled aimlessly around the cubes like a lost lamb looking for its mother. Due to his carelessness, he walked directly in the path of the human Tsunami Ajay. "Chang, let's wrap up databroker by this week. Its ok if its a little bit broken, let's just implement it and release it to all sites, even AMD is that right so let's maintain it so we can do it this way and we are covered if not we can make the call’

Chang stared in bewilderment and an acute observer of the situation would have noticed that he did try to say a few words amidst the torrent. These words sounded like 'But Ajay...', 'I cant’ , 'umm....’, 'err.. .’, 'haanh???'

However this was lost in the deluge and Ajay swished by leaving Chang very perturbed at the sudden turn of events and was left with a strange sense of unease. Had he agreed to something? Had he nodded his head? He was filled with dread now.

Still lost in thought he entered the restroom only to realize he didn’t have any and was actually originally planning for a coffee. Here he encountered an old Autoplan cronie by the name of Victor Chang. Victor is one of those guys who never talks or says much but can be counted upon to pinch your nipples when you least expect it. However, Chang, being a past master in avoiding male body contact (except in the case of the hairy Indian guy whom he still had not figured how to escape from), kept his respectful distance, mumbled a few words in Mandarin which Victor apparently understood 100% and both exited the restroom promising each other to meet for lunch later that day. ‘Kwangnam Cho’ said Chang in his not so soft tenor. Victor giggled and said nothing as the real Kwangnam Cho treated Chang to an icy stare and walked by in anger. Chang turned to Victor and in a moment of revelation explained that ‘Kwangam Cho’ meant Naked Guy. Kwangnam, who had not yet moved out of earshot turned round and said ‘I know’. ‘Dammit’ said Chang, turning red, purple and pink all at once.

Back again in his cube, Chang opened his cabinet doors to ensure no one had slyly kidnapped his treasured Unix user guides which undoubtedly are in high demand somewhere (not sure where though). He glanced surreptitiously at ‘Spin the Chang’, an ancient game developed in his honor. Seeing no one around, he quickly gave it a go. The head stopped upside down. Muttering ‘Dammit’ under his breath, he once more regained his posture in front of his monitor. This time, he remembered exactly what he was working on and joyously opened the code only to realize he had recollected what he had to implement but could not now remember the programming language he was using.

Amidst these deep thoughts, he got a call from Oregon. Not waiting for the usual pleasantries, the voice on the other end screamed ‘Hey Chang, how come you still don’t have a Masters? Normal people get it in 2 years you know?’ Chang, ever the serene one was unaffected by these comments. ‘What the hell do you want Vik?’ he said softly but firmly leaving no doubt in anyone’s mind that he meant business. This of course, was completely lost on the abnormally tall Indian guy who continued his banter for a minute or so finally ending his tirade with ‘Hey Chang, why do you call me up and waste my time? I missed a meeting because of you. Anyway, I need to go now. Next time you want to waste my time, please let me know in advance. Hey, how do you say Jaadugar in Chinese?’ Leaving Chang sputtering and fuming, the tall Indian guy hung up the phone.

‘This whole thing sucks’ said Chang once again. His Director, who had just walked in, clicked his voice in disapproval and walked out.


Anonymous said...

Fans of Triv will know exactly what kind of fun to expect out of a Chang story. "A morning in the life of Chang" masterfully captured Chang's daily struggles at work place. Triv added his usual clever wit to offer literally a laugh a line.

Triv said...

Thanks for the encouraging words, Chang. More stories about you are in the works!

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