Friday, June 22, 2007

Mum about M.U.M

I know I'm onto something big here. It's that feeling you get when you find the starting point of a thread that can only lead to a saga of epic proportions, a magnum opus of a discovery, an invention, a life changing moment...

Now, I may be revealing a deep dark brotherhood kind of secret which everyone in the know, is aware of but is terrified to talk about. Then again, it may be something that is so obvious that I am an idiot for ever questioning the act. In the former case, I'm sorry guys!

If you are not male, and are in the reading throes of this epiphany, bully for you! You go girl! If you are male, and yet have never encountered the phenomenon about to be revealed, please read the sign carefully, the next time.

Okay, no more dilly dallying. Let's get to the brunt of it. To brass tacks as they say. Tally ho and all that!


And, just out of curiousity, why are men mum about this and go about life as if it never happens?


The nascent notion of Men's Urinal Mystery (MUM) initially began it's life traipsing merrily in my head along with millions of other thoughts all jostling for prime time brain space,but as the mystery deepened -- 'BAM' was the top priority.

At first, in my usual unbiased way, I thought it was only us Indians. Then, lo and behold, I saw a Caucasian do it in the US, a Filipino in the Philippines, and that's when the mystery manifested itself to me in its full glory.

By the way, I have no answers here, so if you want to keep reading and expecting one, sorry. However, there are numerous hypotheses proposed here and I would like to get a feel for which one is the most sound, and if a new idea should present itself to you (as you ponder this creme de la creme du nature mystique), go for it!

Okay, here are my suppositions in absolutely no particular order.
  • We would like to encourage all possible participants to shed out some fluid during the act
  • There's the glob of saliva that is actually being saved for this special occasion
  • We feel extremely disgusted with something down there, either personal or urinal
  • It's an involuntary impulse and the act just doesn't seem complete without that 'and take that' finale
  • Actually, the one above was my last idea
If someone has the answer or an 'Aha' moment they can provide me, please do so. I can't sleep, eat or drink unless I resolve this once and for all and lay to rest this cropper of a mystery. Then, not wanting to rest on our laurels, we shall delve into the various spitting styles that will allow us to further explore the inner workings of the human mind. See, I told you this was ground-breaking stuff...

  • No urinals were hurt during the making of this article
  • I claim no knowledge of French, so whatever is in here, is whatever is in here


Vijesh said...

M.U.M - Interesting humorous read!

my thought on M.U.M is an act to warn the person near by that not to peep here. :P

Disclaimer applicable here too.

Anonymous said...

Million years back.... when folks used to urinate in the fields or wilderness... they would spit and make somoe noice from their throat for the following two reasons:

1. Inform others when it is dark that someone is pissing so the spot is reserved

2. Keep away snakes and other bugs so you can urinate in peace

This is what I read in the library.

Triv said...

Seems to make sense. They actually have this information in the library?

Shashi said...

After smelling the environs where teh urinal is located, it is hard for a man to swallow the saliva in his mouth. Hence, the dispensation of 'contaminated' saliva.

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